


Tea Is Very Serious Business

by frostedshadow



Series: It's All Fun Until Someone Gets Hurt... Then It's Hilarious [1]
Category: Sherlock (TV), Skyfall (2012) - Fandom
Genre: M/M, Multi, Pre- James Bond/Q, mentions of Sherlock - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-29
Updated: 2012-12-29
Packaged: 2017-11-22 21:58:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/614797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/frostedshadow/pseuds/frostedshadow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which 00 agents stalk those that hold their affections, and Q is just starting to learn what it means to be wooed by a 00 agent. Even if he doesn't realize that he is being wooed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tea Is Very Serious Business

One thing about MI6 was that, contrary to popular belief, they actually encouraged inter office relations. It meant that they didn’t have to worry about nasty little things like information leaks. As any double-oh agent could tell you, the best secrets were told after sex. But that was neither here nor there. While inter office relations were encouraged, it was generally frowned upon to have anything more than a professional relationship with a double-oh. Not that it didn’t happen. For some strange reason, double-oh behavior was all the same. When, at MI6, they saw something they liked, conscious or not, they chased that person. It could be simple things, like flowers, or not so simple things, like breaking into their homes in the middle of the night. 003 was famous for breaking into random head of branch’s homes, stripping naked, and watching television until the owner of said home came home. Or, when he was feeling sassy, finding all of their hidden guns, and replace them with nerf guns. 001 liked to lurk in the shadows, and see if he could surprise the current object of his affection. Most Branches had some sort of unofficial warning system, something to let them know when a double-oh was in the area. For Q branch, it was for discreet lights under their desks. A double-oh would start to walk towards the branch. The closer that agent got, the brighter the lights got. The agents had yet to figure it out. The best thing was when someone was actually able to handle a double-oh agent. It was rare when a person was able to keep up with one of the agents, and M always encouraged those relationships. It was nice, when one of those incredibly unstable agents were actually in a stable relationship. 

Everyone in every branch knew when a double-oh was on the prowl. It really didn’t matter if the double-oh knew, or if the object of affection knew either. When it was a branch leader, all the minions would help out, because, honestly, what was life without messing with the boss’ head? It was just fun. The best double-oh agent, was 007. He liked to prank those he liked, in the office. Which made life very entertaining. 

Which was why Q was royally fucked. 

It was common practice for Q to ignore every double-oh who came into his office. It was six months after Skyfall, so he had officially met all of them. Had yet to learn of their wooing techniques when it came to coworkers, but he had heard of their persistence. Honestly, though, anyone who knew a double-oh knew that they never gave up. On anything. That was, really, why they were double-ohs. Well, that and their ability to murder, but that is really beside the point. 

Q was working on a new toy for his double-oh agents, when he saw the soft light under his desk light up. He sighed inwardly. Double-oh agents were almost as annoying as his older brothers. At least neither of them knew his current cell number. Which would probably only last for a few more days. 

“Q. I had a few... problems on the last mission.” James Bond would have looked sheepish, if he hadn’t been a double-oh agent. 

“A problem 007? Whenever have you had one of those?” Q asked dryly. He didn’t look up, but rolled his eyes nonetheless. He knew James was looking for a reaction, and Q really didn’t like giving any of the agents the satisfaction. 

“Oh, don’t be an ass.” James almost whined. “I brought you tea. See, not too terrible after all.” James set the scrabble mug down on Q’s desk. 

“Leave the equipment with one of my techs, then get out. Thank you, 007.” Q didn’t even look up, he didn’t want to give 007 the satisfaction of knowing that he was touched by the fact that the agent had thought to bring him tea. Q waited until 007 left, then he logged off his computers, and stood. He picked the mug up, with his fingers around the rim, and left his office to the open area of his branch. All his minions seemed to be watching him from the corner of their eyes’, which made Q somewhat nervous. Maybe they were all just impressed with the way Q had dealt with the agent. Q went to his table, set the mug down, and logged on. While he waited for all his programs to start, he picked his mug up, and took a sip. The liquid was in his mouth for barely a second, though, before he spewed it out, across his desk. 

“Where the hell is Bond? Didn’t any of you tell him that I only drink Earl Gray, not this- this- this crappy excuse for tea!” Q almost screamed. If he wasn’t holding his favorite mug, he would have thrown it to the ground. “Someone clean this out and get me some real tea. NOW.” Q slammed the mug down, almost breaking it in the process, and stormed back to his office. His mobile rang when he entered the room, and he answered it without looking. 

“Temper, temper, Quillan. What would Mummy say if she could see you now?” Mycroft’s voice drawled through the phone. 

“Have I ever told you how much I hate you?” Q snarked. He slammed himself into his seat, sat for a moment, then burst up, and started pacing. 

“No, you generally leave that to Sherlock. And you do not actually hate me, do you, Quillan?” Mycroft joked softly to his youngest brother. 

“Shut up. And do not call me that! It’s Q now, or did you not get the memo?” Q was in a really bitchy mood. 

“Is something the matter, _Q_? Did someone mess with your tea?” Mycroft kept his voice neutral. 

“What makes you think that... Wait how the hell did you know that?” Q almost screamed into his phone. 

“Sir, 007 will be here in a moment.” One of his interns poked her head into his office. 

“OUT!” Q roared. He picked up a pen, and flung it at the door. The intern slammed it shut, the pen hit the door and disappeared with a bang and some smoke. 

“Calm down Q, I am sure it was only a little prank. You know, fun and games. Apparently, normal people partake in those.” Q could hear the smirk on Mycroft’s face. 

“Normal? What the hell is that. Did you tell any on my minions about my habits? Mycroft?” Q snarked into his phone. 

“I did not go looking for them. They came to me. And I did not tell them anything. I just left my computer open, perhaps with a photo album or two up. No harm done, Q.” Mycroft chuckled softly into the phone. 

“You laughed. I am telling Sherlock.” Q let sarcasm bleed into his voice, for once. 

“Sarcasm, Q, really? So mundane.” Q hung up on Mycroft, before his older brother could add anymore. 

“Is there a problem, Q?” James Bond leant against his door frame. If he had been anyone other that James, the man would have looked innocent. 

“Of course not. I will have a better prototype of your exploding pen in a few weeks.” Q turned away from the door, and waited until James left before he destroyed his phone. He was definitely not having a temper tantrum. He had no idea why his damn minions had gone to his brother for information on him. Or why they had shared that information with James. However, there were still ways of getting back at the agent. It just took a little time, and patience.


End file.
